Tetrax -
How miserable to you really want to get before you say "I give up"?
I wouldn't trade places with you for anything, because I know how you feel.
I had all kinds of excuses and rationalizations as to why it wasn't quite time for me to get help.
I finally decided I had had enough misery and terror and confusion.
Then, I asked for help.
I got it and learned to live like a sober person and not a self-absorbed drunk who was in denial about life generally.
Sobering up is about growing up.
Come on over to our side, amigo.
I promise that it's much better over here.
And you will have us to help and support you - like we do with each other.