Aww, thanks Dee and Courage! Thanks everyone for your support, friendship, fellowship, and love over the past 5 years.
FBL - I'm so glad you checked in to let us know what's going on with your eye. Prayers for a quick recovery!
I was thinking this morning of the difference between today and 5 years ago. Then I was so afraid of what I was going to lose by not drinking, and today I have too much to lose to drink.
Five years ago when people with some sobriety under their belt, like Dee, made similar statements, I found it far-fetched. I couldn't understand it. I am so grateful that people with long term sobriety were honest and forthcoming about what their lives were like before sobriety, about what their challenges were. I was able to focus on our similarities and trust them.
I also found it so helpful when others shared some of their tips for managing those challenges. Some of the things I tried worked for me. If you are ever wondering why I go to great length to describe what's bothering me, and how I worked through it, now you know!
I have a neat look-how-far-I've-come story in that format: This week at work I observed a supervisor who I am partially responsible for overseeing not following the proper workflow . He's responsible for taking escalated calls, and he refused one because he was "on 15 minute break." However, in his role he's not actually on break until he is not on the floor. I observed him sitting at his desk, chatting with coworkers, etc. for about 20 minutes. At that time, I went to his desk and asked to chat for a minute - and he told me he was about to go on break. Hmmm.
We sat down and I shared what I observed. He was very defensive and rude. This isn't the first time I've shared improper handling of issues with him, and he was just as defensive and rude then as well. The first time he was rude to me, I assumed it was all in my delivery, because of my own personal insecurities about the way I handle conflict. This week when he was rude, I assumed again it was all in my delivery, because of my own personal insecurities about the way I handle conflict.
Recognizing this might be about me, I worked with my director on how to approach the situation, At first I was trying to build a him vs. me case, that old dysfunctional behavior creeping in, but I pushed through that and instead devised a game plan of how I could approach the supervisor with some humility and honesty. The supervisor was defensive at first, but we broke through some of those walls.
I realized it was about him, not me, and was able to observe my own false thinking about myself. Just because I used to handle conflict poorly due to messed up childhood dynamics doesn't mean I still do now.
Stopping drinking has enriched my life is more ways than I ever could have imagined!
Thanks everyone for being there for me!