I started drinking socially when I went to university, so late teens to early 20s.
For me, it was a way of dealing with social anxiety really. Particularly as I'd moved from my home country and at the same time as starting university found myself in a new culture where everyone seemed so 'cool' and I seemed so backward and unsophisticated.
Before I drank, I was confident enough in myself. I was a high achiever at school and I thought I had the world at my feet.
I used alcohol to cope with the challenges I set myself, I just drove myself harder and harder, to adapt, to succeed, and to climb the next mountain. All the time, I depended on alcohol to make things 'better'.
Two things I've changed about myself since becoming sober:
1. I've reached deep into myself to fundamentally alter my inner voice so that it now tells me that I am good enough as I am. That's been a huge relief and helped with social anxiety and insecurities, and my Type-A perfectionistic tendencies.
2. I've taken back that innocent child-like feeling of wonder and 'looking forward' to things. Everything was full of promise when I was a child. There was so much to look forward to in the future - growing up, doing grown-up things like falling in love, discovering new things - I realised when I had that feeling, I didn't need to drink. So now I actively adopt that feeling that there's always an exciting bright future ahead, somewhere. It's fun. It's given me the child-like hope and optimism back.