Like many, I don't even know. As is common, I got into drinking when I was a teenager and continued, in varying degrees of extremity, up until I became a middle-aged adult. So who knows who that person was or might have been.
But this is goes to something so fundamental to my life now that I am sober. Part of what is so exciting about sobriety is finally discovering who I am or might be. There's certainly plenty of issues I have, complexes and faults. Some things haven't changed at all. But it feels like the first time, maybe ever in my life, that I'm able to try to fully be someone but I want to be.