What did you do before you drank?
One thing I found interesting thinking about was how did I deal with life before drinking? At the end of my drinking I believed alcohol was so necessary to have fun, to get through stress, to socialize, to cope with depression, etc. But is any of that true?
For me, I really didn't start drinking at all until age 17. Before that, I lived a happy and free life, not thinking about drinking. If I went to a party or a high school dance, I danced without booze. I laughed with my friends. I lived life to the fullest, not considering alcohol. If I was nervous about a situation, I prepared ahead of time.
If I was sad, I curled up in bed and cried. If I was stressed or angry, I screamed into a pillow.
In other words, I was dealing with the ups and downs of life just fine without craving a drink. So why can't I do that now? My brain has been conditioned to believe that alcohol is vital, and I have to re-train it.
Oddly enough, I remember being 17 and sneaking a huge cup of red wine late at night into my room. I was excited about the prospect of being drunk without my parents knowing. I remember drinking the whole cup and honestly just feeling really sick and awful afterwards. I might've thrown up, I don't remember. I remember feeling a bit confused that I didn't have the typical euphoric feeling but rather just felt sick with a headache. It's so odd to remember things like this, times when I wasn't even enjoying alcohol but kept on drinking for almost 8 years anyway.
Wine, beer, vodka- it's all diluted ethanol. Ethanol is a poison that kills you, makes you blind, or makes you unconscious. So why do we believe that it can make us happy? I ask you this- what is INSIDE that bottle that's going to make you happy, less stressed, etc?