jen…..trailmix is right....attending an alanon meeting will not traumatize your children....I imagine that the youngest following you around is a result of insecurity from the chaos that you have been living in. They probably sense your tenseness and feeling insecurity from the environment, in general.
Kids are like little sponges...and they absorb everything in the environment...all of the bad and all of the good.....
Most of the posters, here, report an almost immediate improvement in the moods of the children when the alcoholic behavior is absent from the home.
They will take their cues from you...if they sense that you are more relaxed and happy...more "yourself".....they respond, in the same. As the non-alcoholic parent....you are the Captain of their ship...the one that they can depend on and gain their sense of security from.....
Some alanon meetings have child care for the children, in nearby rooms. It may be possible for you to take them, at their ages. You can, actually, make it a fun experience for them.....take some things to keep them busy,,,or they may do some homework, too. Maybe, stop for ice cream after the meetings.....etc.
for the older ones, there may be alateen meetings, at the same time...in some places.....they would probably really enjoy that.....I have heard that some meetings will take children as young as 8yrs. You may have to check around on this.....
I think that being around nice, compassionate, understanding people will be a positive and healing experience, for all of you!