6:14 am
Feeling very emotional this morning. It could be a combination of things- hormones, the full moon and the fact that I haven't slept well in a couple of days. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep for an hour or so. I think I've been neglecting my electrolytes and that may be the problem (I've forgotten to take my magnesium 2 nights in a row now.)
One of my closests friends almost lost her husband last night - he had gastrointestinal bleeding and was admitted in the hospital- he actually had to be resuscitated. I dreamnt about going to meet her at the hospital and then spent an hour beating myself up in the middle of the night because I was not there for her in person. I texted her and she was in no way mad at me- she had her children there. But I couldn't let go of the fact that I wasn't there for some reason. Then I woke up and saw her text about how she saw his spirit leave his body and I have been in tears every since. I'm just a mess.
On top of all of that I am getting another cold- I was so lethargic at work yesterday and now I understand why.
I called my sponsor at the time we had designated on my drive home yesterday and she did not pick up. I did not however, leave a message but I assumed she has my name in her phone if she is going to work with me. Well she did not bother to call or text me back. So now I feel like I need to find someone else.
I am upset about this- it was a lot of work just to find her and I sort of feel abandoned. I am going to phone into the 7 am meeting this morning and hopefully there will be someone available (they list all available sponsors at the end of the meeting.) I think someone in my time zone may make things easier as she was 2 hours behind.
I wish you all a great day- it's day 6 I believe. I am seeing that my mindless snacking was really prevalent- it's like I just want something to put in my mouth as soon as I am in the kitchen and without cheese or nuts there isn't much left (I'll start keeping cut up celery in the fridge.) And I am also starting to think I have leptin resistance. I can eat a very filling keto meal and then 20 minutes later I feel "hungry" all over again. I think this is just going to take time to get used to. It doesn't happen at work, only at home where I am used to binging the most.
Thanks for listening...