Alex--You are not low life scum for having this problem. I don't think it helps anything to beat yourself up and punish yourself with negative self talk. You deserve better than this. You ARE better than this.
You made it through the hardest part of quitting--the first few months--and you're capable of quitting for good. One thing that trips people up after being sober a while is that long term sobriety can give them a false sense of control over their drinking.
The fact we all have to accept is that no amount of sober time is going to make it possible for us to drink again. Ever.
Don't give up. You can do it.