Notices

No hope back at rock bottom

Old 02-09-2019, 02:48 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 56
No hope back at rock bottom

Same old story been drinking everyday since Xmas lieing to my family and missing my work will be fired on monday so will probably lose my house and no money for food. Last cans of beer are finished this morning so withdrawal will be kicking in soon. Why do I do this to myself I had sobriety for 7 months and it was the best months of my life but I can't even get a week sober now. I told my family to cut ties with me as all I do is lie and steal from them I'm a scumbag can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror
Alexf91 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 03:05 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,050
Hi Alex - welcome back.

it sounds like you're in deep for sure - why not start climbing back up now?
what have you got to lose?

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 03:30 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Canuck76's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I can relate Alex. I have also been struggling to stay sober. If not for my family, I would probably be homeless. Addiction is not choice once you get there unfortunately. I am only 8 days sober myself and just came out of a week of detoxing.

The important thing is that you keep trying. I usually take the opportunity of running out of money to detox. Batten down the hatches, close the curtains and take the weekend to get through the withdrawals.
Canuck76 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 03:52 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 177
If I'd a penny for every time I said those words "why do I do it myself " I'd be rich . You know why , as I did , your prob beaten up from drink now and everything seems useless, I'm sure you put a huge effort into getting those 7 months ( which was brilliant going) but you v got to GO again!! There is no alternative, no day sober is as bad as how your feeling now, i wish you luck.
Kid50 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 03:53 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
gettingsmarter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,978
Alex now sounds like an excellent time to put the drink down for good. You can get better. You just have to make the choice. can you talk to a doctor?
gettingsmarter is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 04:36 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Sounds pretty serious. I think getting serious about sobriety would be a good idea. you're not a scumbag.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 04:57 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Alex,

There is no mystery as to why I crave the booze.

My brain has been permanently altered from that drug. My brain didn't produce enough dopamine etc. for a long while. These days, I definitely have dopamine but as an addict for life...I want to get high.

Sounds crazy....sort of insanity?

Yep. Certified insanity.

The Dr.'s will give me a piece of paper that reaffirms it if i ask them about it.

I don't want that. I need to man up and suffer sometimes.

I will crave booze for the rest of my life.

The crave resides in my emotions. My ability to resist the crave resides in my analysis.

It is a battle in the mind. Initially the emotional was strong. For some folks, too strong. After a while, the emotional got weaker.

But, the crave is for life. Many regret relapse after decades or more of sobriety

Suffering is the only way I know to get out.

Eating, exercise, adventures, yoga, anything that stimulates us, helps to forget the crave.

It takes time and the whole time the crave is there. It has been described as a dead spot in the brain that needs to be filled with getting high.

It is science, however I do believe in God. I initially prayed to God, in tears, to take the burden away.

Prayer is my go to move when I get up in the morning and go to bed at night. For some reason, prayer eases my soul.

Hope this helps you.

Thanks for the therapy.
D122y is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 05:06 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: K.C.MO
Posts: 425
Just do it. Quit! Choose Life. Alcohol is poison. It will eat you up alive. Don't you want to be around in 10 yr, 20 yrs to see your family? Quit. It is ok that you relapsed. Get up, dust yourself off and do it again. Sober up, go thru detox, Get some good food in you, get some good sleep, then get a new job. A new beginning. Just do it!
travelbug is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 05:13 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
This is a good day for day 1. It won’t be easy.

but everyone on here has a day 1, make today yours.
Bumblebee2 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 05:37 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 221
Hi Alex

Sorry to hear you’re going through such a rough time but there’s always hope even though at the moment it might not seem that way. You’ve done it before so you can do it again. Once you’re through the withdrawal you have to feel this way again. I absolutely detest the poison that is alcohol and how it has the power to lure us in but you have to take the power back.
noaddedsugar is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 06:27 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
firstymer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Hey, Alex. I don’t where you live/work, so this may not work, but there is a legal option that may be available to you. Alcoholism is a medical condition. And you can’t be fired for having a medical condition. If you have not yet been fired, and if you are willing to confront your alcoholism (it sounds like now is a good time to do that), you should consider disclosing to your employer that you are seeking treatment for alcoholism and are requesting that you be given the opportunity to do that. If your employer agrees to hold your job open, then, of course, you must pursue the treatment option. This request to your employer may not work, and it will certainly fail if you make the request AFTER they fire you, but it may be worth a shot. What have you got to lose?
firstymer is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 07:02 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,330
Hi Alex, I hope that you decide to stop drinking for good. You can begin to reclaim your life.
Anna is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 07:12 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
columbus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 698
Alex--

As trapped as you feel now is also as free as you will be once you are firmly on the path to life.

Look for the path (it will reveal itself if you open your heart and mind) and start walking.

Sometimes you will stop, momentarily, on the way. But just stop there and rest, momentarily.

Just don't step off the path, back into the darkness, right?
columbus is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 07:25 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
red3215's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 295
Alex--You are not low life scum for having this problem. I don't think it helps anything to beat yourself up and punish yourself with negative self talk. You deserve better than this. You ARE better than this.

You made it through the hardest part of quitting--the first few months--and you're capable of quitting for good. One thing that trips people up after being sober a while is that long term sobriety can give them a false sense of control over their drinking.

The fact we all have to accept is that no amount of sober time is going to make it possible for us to drink again. Ever.
Don't give up. You can do it.
red3215 is offline  
Old 02-09-2019, 07:57 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Stubbs16's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Alex, I know how you are feeling. But, there is hope as long as you dont quit trying. You had periods of sobriety before, and you can get it back. Today is difficult, day ones always are. But things get better and easier with time. I know you can do this. Dont believe otherwise.
Stubbs16 is offline  
Old 02-10-2019, 10:05 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
columbus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 698
Wishing good for you, Alex.

Check in?
columbus is offline  
Old 02-10-2019, 11:41 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by columbus View Post
Wishing good for you, Alex.

Check in?
I can't stop had to steal my drink today don't know how I'll face tomorrow
Alexf91 is offline  
Old 02-10-2019, 04:17 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
columbus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 698
You have a (very) tough row to hoe, Alex, and it's going to be (very) hard work once you get started.

But before even being able to begin the hoeing you'll have to put down the shovel you're using to dig yourself ever deeper.
columbus is offline  
Old 02-11-2019, 02:03 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 60
Alex, posting here shows how much you want sobriety. I picked up at drink after 17 months and wanted to kill myself a few weeks ago. I had to start at day 1 and work from there.

You can do this. You have your whole life ahead of you and even though today seems impossible and you'll feel like you wont get through it, you can. Anything is possible if you want a better life and I think you do.

Peace x
PeaceInSilence is offline  
Old 02-11-2019, 02:20 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Friendly Folk
 
ChloeRose63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,642
How are you doing today, Alex?
ChloeRose63 is online now  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:42 AM.