Alex,
There is no mystery as to why I crave the booze.
My brain has been permanently altered from that drug. My brain didn't produce enough dopamine etc. for a long while. These days, I definitely have dopamine but as an addict for life...I want to get high.
Sounds crazy....sort of insanity?
Yep. Certified insanity.
The Dr.'s will give me a piece of paper that reaffirms it if i ask them about it.
I don't want that. I need to man up and suffer sometimes.
I will crave booze for the rest of my life.
The crave resides in my emotions. My ability to resist the crave resides in my analysis.
It is a battle in the mind. Initially the emotional was strong. For some folks, too strong. After a while, the emotional got weaker.
But, the crave is for life. Many regret relapse after decades or more of sobriety
Suffering is the only way I know to get out.
Eating, exercise, adventures, yoga, anything that stimulates us, helps to forget the crave.
It takes time and the whole time the crave is there. It has been described as a dead spot in the brain that needs to be filled with getting high.
It is science, however I do believe in God. I initially prayed to God, in tears, to take the burden away.
Prayer is my go to move when I get up in the morning and go to bed at night. For some reason, prayer eases my soul.
Hope this helps you.
Thanks for the therapy.