Thank for your your replies and for sharing. It's good to be reminded that others too have hard times and manage to get to the other side of them.
I had a real nose dive this week. I guess I'm grieving. I pushed myself too hard physically and emotionally. I hear what you are all saying...patience. Patience. It's very challenging for a normally very active person to stay still for so long. Over the last couple of days I have rested, I've been to meditation, I have spent time with good people that care about me. One said to me:
"people that are always looking in the rear view mirror when they are driving wonder why they crash"
Its often the simple phrases that help to get me out of the black hole I get myself into by torturing myself with my thoughts.
Today I realised I have not lost everything. I still have my experience, my skills, everything I have learned in the time I have been farming. I have my network of friends and farmers. I got offered two opportunities today. I'm not well enough to do them yet but they might still be there when I'm ready. Or there might be others.
So patience, rest, meditation and soon I will be able to identify as a well person again. The rest will follow.
thank you all for your experience strength and hope
