Originally Posted by
MLD51 
I like what DriGuy said.
I do go to AA, but I am lucky to have found a meeting that is anything but judgmental and respects everyone's path, however they do it. It's a women's meeting, and we don't even use the Big Book. My point is, if you want the community, try different meetings, because in most places, unless you live in a REALLy small town, there is a variety. And people tend to settle into certain meetings that are comfortable for them in tone, and where they identify with the other people there.
My introduction to AA was a small town, with limited views about most everything, but I was still accepted by the group, and fairly well understood by several members. As I traveled about, I was able to experience other groups, all with the same basic structure, but with more diversity. I lived on my boat near LA for a few months, and was surrounded by different groups all day long. It didn't take long to identify with a group where I settled in very comfortably.
Originally Posted by
MLD51 I worked the steps, and I have a sponsor (in name anyway) but I wasn't a zealot, Like PJ said. I did the parts of the steps that resonated with me, when I was ready to do them. I agree 100% that AA CAN be overly dogmatic and operate from a place of fear, and that doesn't work for me. I take what works for me, and combine it with a bunch of other methods that work for me.
It took me months to finally get a sponsor while I watched and listened to others before I asked anyone. My sponsor was of the "in name only" kind too. We did not work on steps. We were 180 degrees apart in spiritual agreement, but we talked freely. We became close friends who could talk about things we did not agree on at all, while still growing in mutual respect throughout.
I should clarify about "in name only." It was not a traditional sponsor relationship, but it was beneficial for both of us. He's 3000 miles away now, but we still talk on the phone once in a while. We were both totally committed to sobriety. He's got 5 more years on me, but together we have over 50 years of combined sobriety if you add us both together. LOL