OpheliaKatz

Hi Amaranth, I don't think you sound self-pitying. You have gone through a lot and you would naturally feel grief. I also didn't think you were only talking about the relationship. In my case, my entire life was different when I was in the relationship than when I am out of it now. I have no financial security now. I have no home -- I am renting a room from friends. I have no car... etc. I also lost a lot of friends. I lost my career. I lost my health. I also had surgeries. At the time, I felt as if I was losing everything I knew and looking at a life that was totally nothing, empty. But at the time, the nothingness was preferable to every single thing I had if I also had to remain in the relationship. In retrospect, I wasn't my "true" self back then (and I'm not just talking about my relationship, I am talking about the things I chose to accept in general). I am not sure if me saying that helps or not... . I'm still trying to rebuild my life and it's been a while... but at least it's my life.

I believe that things will come in time when we're busy living.