I am very glad to hear that you are cancer free. What a relief that must be!
Recovery after two surgeries will, as you are aware, take time, and I imagine it is difficult to be patient. I know I would have a hard time with it.
I don't know if you will be able to replicate your old life when you have healed and gained strength.
Right now, I would say, rest, heal, do what you need to do to get stronger and try not to think too much about what your life will be like.
I believe that things pretty much go the way they are meant to.
And grieve the loss of your farm and business for as long as you need to.
I was a teacher.
I loved teaching.
I came to it relatively late, but I felt it was something I was born to do.
I did it for a long time, and slowly, insidiously, I came to really, really dislike teaching.
The parents, the kids, the administration, the lack of respect for the profession.
It's hard when something you loved doing is gone or no longer gives you joy.
but...my life went on. I left teaching, did some volunteering at an environmental stewardship organization and met a bunch of nice, like minded people.
Eventually I got a part time "retirement" job at a big box store that, it turns out, I like a lot.
It seems that I have this crazy customer service ethic. And enjoy putting people together with products that work for them. Who knew?