I guess what I'm really struggling with at the moment is letting go of my old life when I haven't got a new one to invest in....yet
Apart from the drinking and it's effects, I had everything I wanted. And yes I invested years of blood, sweat and tears in building a really nice life. It's time for me to let go of it all now and to get my health back.
Once I'm better I can build another life but it's a scary place, letting go of the old when the new is not yet in sight.