Originally Posted by Ricky583
I think that its wrong that I am supposed to forget what was said and over look it. Especially when if it was the other way around and I said something out of anger, which I have done and said things that I didnt really mean only to regret them and say I am sorry afterwards and say that I was just angry. He wants me to overlook his words but he will refuse to overlook mine and throw them up every chance that he gets.
Been there soooooo many times. No, it's not fair, not fair at all. I'm just starting to be able to define my boundaries and voice them, it's taken me quite a while! (ok, let's be honest, a couple of years) It's also taken me a long while to realise that my place in life is not to listen to the rubbish that's chucked at me regularly.
I just wanted you to know that there are ways of dealing with this, and they are ways that make you feel a whole lot better, no matter what's going on.
I'm not a member of Alanon, but I come here, read their literature and take what I like. Have you tried Alanon? It might be for you and won't hurt!
Originally Posted by Pick-a-name
One word.........alcoholism.
Been there; know the feeling (UGH; so frustrating,etc,etc) .........guess that is why we can't pay attention to them and their responses; there is no rhyme or reason to what they think,say or do...it's a crap shoot they don't know or understand,either. They are under the influence of chemicals. If we do; we are under the influence of them while they are under the influence of chemicals.............
Yip! But I would add that an alcoholic brain doesn't necessarily need the chemicals to behave this way; even free of them the behaviours remain unless they are working a programme.
Until my partner does (if she does) I've learned that it's up to me to change the way I react to her, not get dragged in and see if I want to live like this.
As a wee aside, personally I'd have turned round and found a train station or bus stop at which to leave them.
Jane
xxxx