klekota

I have posted earlier last year about my partner's drug addiction. Fast forward to today, and my spouse continues on her roller coaster addiction. She has lost her job to drug use. Has used physical threats at me, hit me, spit on me, has hit our toddler, has bit out toddler, totaled the family car twice, but was never charger with DWI. She has gone to NA starting in the beginning of the month. During this time she has been unintelligibly high twice in January. That is a huge step considering the previous months. However, she increasingly hostile to me and blames me for everything that goes wrong. She does this in front of our toddler. She hits the toddler for no reason and when i tell her to stop she says you dont get to tell me what to do **** you. In front of our toddler. She is completely unapproachable. I want to separate, get some space for my own sake and our toddlers. I met with an attorney today, and laid the facts out that, Unless I have proof she is a danger to our child, I will need to separate and give her custody. I have audio recordings of her attacking, videos of her intoxicated around the kids, videos of the pills, pictures of texts of her purchasing from her dealer, photos of bruises from hitting on our child. He says all not proof that she is a danger. He basically said she is the mother and is presumed to be the qualified caretaker. I have taken care of our child and done everything, from taking care of her when she is sick, baths, waking up at night putting to bed, waking up in the morning. Everything. Our child is glued to me, like as if I were the traditional mother. I am heartbroken to know that if I leave, I will leave my precious angel behind in a toxic environment. That my wife will inflict so much pain in our childs life. I fear. I feel powerless. I feel trapped. I feel I have failed our child. I feel that I am abandoning her. And the courts will do nothing but punish me. I just need to vent to someone and have no one else to talk to. Every horrible thing my wife's addiction has brought to our household makes me feel like this is my darkest hour and my life can't devolve into chaos any further. And again, I find myself ina darker lonelier more painful place. Thanks for reading.