Originally Posted by pdm22

It’s interesting stuff. They say securely attached people tend to pair off and do well in stable relationships, and avoidant/ anxiously attachment people tend to be attracted to each other. What looks like and gets labeled as codependency, is often the dance between avoidants/ anxious types.

So much can be mishandled the first year of infancy, I cringe when I hear people say an infant (who isn’t even aware that they aren’t a part of the mother’s body for the first few months!) should just “cry it out”; “they gotta learn”. I often wonder if some people who are labeled as “borderline” really don’t have reactive attachment disorder. You hear about it with people who were raised in orphanages and weren’t held enough, but I think it happens in environments where caregivers just lacked parenting skills and ignored babies too, and in cases of abuse/ neglect. I read some studies where kids who were securely attached, particularly to the mother, the first 5 years of life faired better long term, even if some tragedy happened to them after that. Very interesting- I think I still have a foot in the avoidant side, but I was worse when I was younger.


Glenjo- another thing, is with the texting, people are so different about that. Some people don’t like to text, others like that as a means of communication. Then some people do that thing, where they don’t respond, and make contact later when they have time? But they sometimes take, like, days (or more)? So if you don’t know someone well, or how they are, and what they do with texting, it can get misinterpreted?

Also, you know how they say over 90% of communication is non verbal? I think that can get confusing with texting as well, since you don’t have the person in front of you to pick up on facial expressions and body language ...