This is **just me**..BUT..I've lost count how many times you compared your ex and the way he treated you and your concerns(after only 9 dates)about this new guy...**for me**..9 dates is quite a lot in the 1st month'ish when I'm actively dating and I'm NOT comitting to anyone in a month's time,when I have zero clue who that real person is. If you're getting this 'worked up' after only 9 dates, all the while comparing his every 'move/non-move' to your ex..**I'd** say you're not ready to date and need to focus on yourself and your healing...again..**just me** and the way I approach new relationships/dating.