The underlaying issues inside (emotional,pain,hurt,pride,selfesteem), plus the drink, the lashing out is what you see.
Put up with it or set boundaries and hold to them.
Your boundary could have been...you drink, you stay behind. That was a choice...You made.
You can be in control of your own life and what you allow into your life.
As far as what gets said when alcohol is added... yes that is the alcohol talking. We would say things we may never say out loud with alcohol as our guide.