Yeah, I apologized several times for my reaction to what I heard at the conference, admitted that I didn’t handle the situation in the most rational way. His first response was that he was “beyond disappointed” and that he’s sorry that I’m upset about something that happened before we got together, and that he did a lot of irresponsible things and doesn’t want to relive them. Yet, he doesn’t really understand that the issue is the lying. And that the irresponsible behavior with alcohol and the lying is not a thing of the past; it continued throughout the entire relationship and after we broke up and is likely still a major issue. If he had been responsible and trustworthy otherwise during the relationship, this one thing would probably have been a short discussion and not a major issue.
Anyways, we also had a very rational and civil discussion the next day, and agreed that it was good to talk things out and that it was a productive conversation, etc. Then 3 days later, he sent a text where everything seemed fine, and I responded, and then he just ghosted.
It’s not the first time this has happened. Last January, we had a discussion about how poorly he treated my family and friends and he tells me that “I live in a fairytale world where everyone has to be friendly” and “he’s not going to pretend to be interested in conversation if he’s not”. When I say that being rude to my family and friends in unacceptable, he tells me that he doesn’t want to have any contact because “he’ll never be able to satisfy me and he needs to accept that”. But then he contacts me 2 weeks later while I’m on vacation in Hawaii with my family, and I’m confused and angry. And then when I react, he just stops responding altogether.
Then two months later he’s back in town to visit a friend. He texts me to let me know that he’s going to be in town but doesn’t expect a response, so I don’t respond. When he visits he sees me having a fun with my friends and I don’t acknowledge him. Then he texts me saying he wants to meet the next day, so I agreed (so dumb) and he’s crying and telling me how much he misses me, how sorry he is, asking about my family who now all of a sudden he cares so much about. And then a month later the same thing happens. Good lord, how could I be so stupid???
Sorry for the venting. I’m just realizing more and more each day how he didn’t really care about me or my feelings at all. I was just someone who would support him and stroke his ego, until I didn’t, and then he would discard me.