Just want to thank everyone here for their responses. This forum is so supportive and helpful. It's hard to talk about these things with friends and family, who, however well-intentioned, can't really grasp the situation.
I've decided that I'm done for good and it feels different than it has in the past. I'm not really sad. Maybe a bit lonely, but it's worth being lonely for a while. I no longer have any hope or even any desire to see or hear from him even if he does truly get help. He's burned his last bridge. Maybe he feels the same way towards me-so much the better. I'm done with the manipulation and lies. I'm done rationalizing and denying, and taking responsibility for his $hitty behavior. There has to be something better out there.
Thank you all for helping me realize this
