RAL I hope you'll keep checking in, everyone is here for you. What a shock, I'm glad that you have some supportive family with you.
Red, enjoy your yoga retreat
Winding down day 13. I've done a LOT more researching and thinking tonight and I've decided I don't want to do the Inca Trail hike. I'm going to tell my boyfriend next week when he gets back from snowboarding. In addition to my fear of heights, I also have balance issues (which I've read can be exacerbated with PAWS in early sobriety -- explains why I've been falling down more lately.) Seriously, I trip and fall on level surfaces just walking down the street in NYC, or if there's a little water on the floor. My bf thinks it's funny normally, but it won't be funny if it happens on a 3 foot wide path on a cliff with a sheer dropoff next to it. Looking at pictures of some spots on the trail, if I stumbled I'd be toast. It wouldn't be a problem for a lot of people but for me, I know myself and I think I'll be terrified.
I'm going to tell him that I'll go on the Peru trip, and if he still wants to do the trail with his friends he should and I'll find a way to entertain myself while they do it. We'd only be separated for like 3 days out of a 10 day trip. I don't think he'll be upset with me -- I hope not, but if he is I'll just have to deal with it. I have to do what's best for me and I can't be stressing out about this for the next month and a half.
I feel a lot of relief having come to this decision. Hope everyone is doing well today.