Hello and welcome.
I was nervous too when I first came here.
I've had my share of drama with drinking. I once actually grabbed my girlfriend and, well, that didn't go over real well.
I can understand your problem, I think.
My only advice would be to quit drinking. But I understand how hard this would be if your husband doesn't. Don't know.
You can come here for support. Maybe go to an AA meeting. Perhaps your husband would go, too.
I wish you the best.