El,
Everything changed for me when i quit drinking.
It happened forced and naturally.
I copied sober people. I went to a few AA meetings. I read and posted here and there.
Getting cleaned up was very very very hard, but the benefits are worth it. Living a life of addiction is weak and pathetic. I was a dead man walking.
It took a several physical symptoms and some break downs, i was lucky to have not lost everything, to finally shake me out of my broken record addiction lifestyle.
I am interested in fitness and entertainment now. I enjoy my workout time and am starting to see results. I love seeing shows, dining out and cooking at home.
I had to really focus on filling the time gaps left by the deletion of booze. Waking up sober every day with a normal to above average immune system now is like hitting the lottery.
Health is wealth.
I still crave at times, but I get so much satisfaction out of being able to confidently drive everywhere at any hour, lift weights, and do cardio better than ever, that I will never relapse.
I see booze as a poison. It is a highly addictive central nervous system toxin. As soon as we drank it our body goes into expulsion mode. All of our bodys' energy works to eliminate the toxin. That is why booze saps the immune system.
It also permentally damages nerves in the brain. That is why I felt so horribly anxious for months and months. The brain has to rewire and I have to get used to a new normal.
I still feel anxious at times, but nothing like the first year clean.
It takes years to recover and I am still healing. The av will always remain and that is why folks regret relapse after decades of sobriety. It is permanent brain damage. We all have it.
My goal is to make to my death bed sober. On my death bed I plan to say...I made it sober.
Thanks.