Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Therein lies the rub of the relationship with the alcoholic, in many cases. There is only one way out of that and you already know what that is. Love is not supposed to be painful. Imagine if you had a relationship with a guy and your biggest challenge this week was if you should go see a concert or go to a pub for dinner. Imagine if he called you to say good night. Sent you a funny text during the day. Imagine if you knew he had your back and was there for you. That's the relationship that may well be waiting around the corner for you.
If you are going to stay in this relationship with him then you are going to have to learn to cope with all this come here go away, stuff. The only way to do that is to accept him just the way he is and detach from him in many ways, you have to protect yourself, you can't just leave yourself vulnerable to him?
Trailmix, I think this is the heart of the issue I have. So for the past 4 weeks or so, we had been texting everyday, and he had wished me goodnight every night. He would send me funny or sweet texts, etc. It all seemed so nice and normal. We hadn't said that we were back together, but that we'd continue to talk and see what happens, and both of us agreed that that was ok. But he was sending me texts about buying a house together, so I think it was pretty seriously going towards getting back together, and I definitely started to feel hopeful about this again.
Then, this incident happened at the conference and I really freaked out. He was upset and I was upset. Then I felt guilty and apologized. Then we spoke on the phone on Thursday and he told me he understood how I felt, he was sorry he put me in that position, that it was good that we talked, etc. He texted me goodnight and other nice things. Then Friday he was at work late (I know this is true) and seemed very stressed, but still texted goodnight. Then Saturday, I texted him in the evening to see how his day was, he texted a short response, and I asked if he was ok. He didn't respond, so yesterday later in the morning I texted him again to see if he was ok, and then he responded like 5 hours later to say that he was just trying to stay away from his computer and phone for a while and "recharge", but asked how my day was. But I also know that he was on social media posting, etc. during this time, so it seemed like he just didn't want to talk to me, which is fine, but just say that then. I responded and now he hasn't responded at all.
I feel like a psycho for even caring about this so much. I not in control of him; if he wants to spend time away from his phone or computer or not talk to me, who cares? It's just that it seems like an abrupt change in behavior from Thursday/Friday night to Saturday/yesterday with a sort of shady explanation. Like if he's upset about the situation this week, I understand, but be honest with me. But it almost feels like he's trying to keep me on edge or punish me for the incident this week. Am I being completely irrational in thinking this?
Everyone has a right to their own time and space, and at least he told me that that's why he wasn't communicating as often, so maybe I'm just reading way too much into this. I think it just circles back to trust again. Like I just can't take him at his word and always think that something more sinister is happening.