Hi Trailmix. Got it, you are not an alcoholic and you generally post in the F&F section. That's great. I appreciate your thoughts here on selfishness. I assume you are in these forums in general because you have someone who is close to you that suffers from some form of addiction. Thus, I suggest that you consider reading the BB. It is one of the most widely read books on the topic and while it is focused towards the alcoholic I think you will find it informative and educational. My belief is that everyone on the planet would benefit from some of the steps. 4/5 and 8/9 in particular. You don't have to be an alcoholic to benefit from the principals of the BB.