Hi everyone,
I am sitting up a mountain looking over a glittering lake while my son races up and down it on a luge. We”ve been here many times over the years, when kids are small you can tandem luge with them, it is hard to put into words how it feels that for the first time my boy has just left me in the cafe, grabbed a helmet and headed off up the mountain path by himself. At the bottom of the mountain there is a ski chair lift to get back up that used to terrify him. There are many challenges with life with my boy, but it makes wins like this all the more powerful and heartwarming.
Thanks for the awesome emojiis and congratulations - a year is a huge achievement, but I know what NC means it was also anticlimatic in a way, because there is this ‘so now what?’ feeling. My focus has been on sobriety for this whole year and I am really proud of what I have achieved and even prouder of this group that has been such an important part of my recovery. I think now it is about taking the tools I have been developing and putting them to use in other areas. Quitting sugar has been hard, but it’s been two weeks (with one planned ‘treat’) and I am really feeling the benefits, more so than I did when I quit alcohol if I am honest. Alcohol was silently destroying my body, there were the headaches (of course), the weird pains, the acid and blood tests showed liver damage, but as a ‘functional secret drunk’ I didn’t notice those things and when they stopped it was gradual too. The sugar thing has been so different, my energy levels have changed dramatically and so has my mood and my skin has cleared up almost overnight.
So this second year of sobriety for me is going to be focussed on losing weight and also trying to sort my sleep out. I do struggle with insomnia, largely due to the fact my son wakes screaming in the middle of most nights and getting back to sleep after that is often hard now I am sober instead of just letting the alcohol buzz helping (hah, when was it ever helping!) me fall back/pass out.
I think a year of sobriety is teaching me patience and faith in taking the long road to find solutions instead of wanting a quick fix. So 12 months from now I’d like to have achieved a slow and steady weight loss and healthy sleep habits.
@Dee I am sorry it has been a difficult few weeks, you take such good care of all of us, please know you are being thought of by people all over the world.
lol ok while typing this I have been watching the chair lift waiting to see my son and have just realised I am totally watching the wrong lift and his one is out of sight, epic helicopter Mum fail.