Wow you've covered a lot Wamama! Very insightful.
Yes the misdirected "expectation" speech must be getting pretty old at this point. You are absolutely correct in that it doesn't mean that no one should ever have any expectation of your Husband.
Then again, is that the life he wants? If he is making a choice, that he does not want your relationship to be about any give and take/responsibility - that's a different kettle of fish. Maybe that's something you can get him to clarify if you aren't sure where he's coming from?
I don't think you were wrong for having the conversation about where you are at, he does need to know.
If things are particularly stressful, when my daughter was rear ended for example, I just shut down. I can't stay awake, I sleep for 14, sometimes 16 hours for a day or two.
Yes, you are completely correct in my opinion. You are "strong" going about your business, taking care of said business, no need for a break here! Then it turns on you, you cannot do that indefinitely, I know this from personal experience. I'm so glad you are seeing it now before it actually really hits. I remember questioning it myself and brushing it aside because I guess I didn't really think of it too seriously of being anything that needed addressing. It did and if you don't it will make you!
I know that sleeping thing too. Once I was so stressed that if I got in to a stressful conversation I could not stay awake! I would have to walk away and go lay down or tell the person to lay off or I was going to fall asleep lol.
I believe it's a protective reaction from the body and another indicator that you are too stressed.
So glad you are addressing this.