Hi SC
Well I'm 54 so I sure hope that's not too old to work! But I do totally understand needing to focus on detox. And I don't know about you but when I was drinking a lot, going on benders, detoxing, retoxing, detoxing, retoxing it was tearing my poor brain apart. My cognitive skills were crapola. So yeah, getting detoxed and hopefully staying there for a while so you can at least see/feel some of the benefits of staying sober is the first step. Right now you're just continuing to beat the he!! out of yourself and that is a very dismal place to be. Been there for sure.
I watched this documentary on Amazon Prime the other night: My name Was Bette. It was brutal to say the least. It goes into great detail the devastating effects that alcohol has specifically on the female body. We are ripped apart far worse and far faster than men. If you have access to it, watch it. Not that I'm trying to scare the daylights out of you, but I dunno. Helps me to remember that I'm simply and truly killing myself when I drink. And the death is ugly and painful and truly bleak.
I will be thinking of you and hoping you are ready to get some help. Sell the car....go to rehab. Whatever it takes.