Just try to keep it simple.
You can't control your husband. You can't control your son. You can control you.
When I was newly sober and being pressured at AA to do the steps I was still so raw emotionally - and there is pressure from all sides. I also had Complex PTSD, so I do understand the jumpiness and desire to fix it all so there can be quiet in my head. It takes time. Way longer than one year, for both of you.
I hope you can just let it be for a while. Those are some big expectations you have, I have to agree there.
Just as an aside, I could never share a bed with anyone again after being single so many years. Lots of people in marriages have their own beds and bedrooms. It's not unusual at all. So much snoring and cover-stealing!