Pretty good thoughts .
To me, take what you want and leave the rest is not meant to say pick and choose the steps. I believe we do them, thoroughly and completely, then apply them to living our best sober lives - with, like you said, the ones that resonate the most as our primary guides.
So, to your scenario (might not be the right word) I'd say that I live in 1, 10, 11, and 12. I do the 10/11 inventory every morning, about the day prior. Helps me with that ego thing you mention (and my issues with control, judgment, etc
)
Step 1 for me has moved well beyond the I am powerless over alcohol part- things like accepting the lady in front of me is writing a check at the grocery store (who does that? I'm in a hurry, lady!) or someone is late to meet me, or my step daughter is being a brat or....
12 keeps me right-sized and again focused out of me, onto others.
4 (resentments and inventory of harms) is something I just revisited this past week as I was struggling with new ones I needed to admit (and now need to do 5 and 9 about).
And to your "non-God" description- I often think that the bottom line is just that there has to be something bigger than me. I have a God of my understanding - and I often think of my friend with 36 yrs as of two weeks ago. He's hilarious- and one thing he always says is that "back in the day when he got sober" everyone told him he'd be drunk again ASAP if he didn't believe in God. He says he never has - but this is a man who lives by love and service to others to an extent I have rarely encountered. He definitely believes there's a lot bigger than him
Thanks for prompting some thoughts for me this morning!