My six AA "non-God" steps
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Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 43
My six AA "non-God" steps
While I like the "fellowship" part of AA, like a lot of people, I have a challenge with the spiritual / religious aspect. I do think there's some value in some of the steps though since I know that pride and ego gets wrapped up in my identity as a drinker. "Who is that doc to say what's best for me?"
As the saying goes "Take what you need and leave the rest" so these are the steps I see as important for my sobriety:
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
Sort of self-explanatory. I don't think anyone here didn't feel this way.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For me this is a group of other people that can relate and are supportive without being judgemental. That's both this board as well as the people at AA.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Set my ego aside and admit where I've been egotistical, an a-hole and sometimes a complete cluster-f.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
Understanding where my actions have negatively impacted others is important in refraining from getting in those situations again.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
Since I'm more of a loner, this one shouldn't be too extensive. I imagine it could be rough if I was a wild partier.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
The previous steps aren't a one-time thing. I want to be a better person and part of that is working on my faults.
As the saying goes "Take what you need and leave the rest" so these are the steps I see as important for my sobriety:
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
Sort of self-explanatory. I don't think anyone here didn't feel this way.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
For me this is a group of other people that can relate and are supportive without being judgemental. That's both this board as well as the people at AA.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Set my ego aside and admit where I've been egotistical, an a-hole and sometimes a complete cluster-f.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
Understanding where my actions have negatively impacted others is important in refraining from getting in those situations again.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
Since I'm more of a loner, this one shouldn't be too extensive. I imagine it could be rough if I was a wild partier.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
The previous steps aren't a one-time thing. I want to be a better person and part of that is working on my faults.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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Posts: 8,674
Pretty good thoughts .
To me, take what you want and leave the rest is not meant to say pick and choose the steps. I believe we do them, thoroughly and completely, then apply them to living our best sober lives - with, like you said, the ones that resonate the most as our primary guides.
So, to your scenario (might not be the right word) I'd say that I live in 1, 10, 11, and 12. I do the 10/11 inventory every morning, about the day prior. Helps me with that ego thing you mention (and my issues with control, judgment, etc
)
Step 1 for me has moved well beyond the I am powerless over alcohol part- things like accepting the lady in front of me is writing a check at the grocery store (who does that? I'm in a hurry, lady!) or someone is late to meet me, or my step daughter is being a brat or....
12 keeps me right-sized and again focused out of me, onto others.
4 (resentments and inventory of harms) is something I just revisited this past week as I was struggling with new ones I needed to admit (and now need to do 5 and 9 about).
And to your "non-God" description- I often think that the bottom line is just that there has to be something bigger than me. I have a God of my understanding - and I often think of my friend with 36 yrs as of two weeks ago. He's hilarious- and one thing he always says is that "back in the day when he got sober" everyone told him he'd be drunk again ASAP if he didn't believe in God. He says he never has - but this is a man who lives by love and service to others to an extent I have rarely encountered. He definitely believes there's a lot bigger than him
Thanks for prompting some thoughts for me this morning!
To me, take what you want and leave the rest is not meant to say pick and choose the steps. I believe we do them, thoroughly and completely, then apply them to living our best sober lives - with, like you said, the ones that resonate the most as our primary guides.
So, to your scenario (might not be the right word) I'd say that I live in 1, 10, 11, and 12. I do the 10/11 inventory every morning, about the day prior. Helps me with that ego thing you mention (and my issues with control, judgment, etc
)Step 1 for me has moved well beyond the I am powerless over alcohol part- things like accepting the lady in front of me is writing a check at the grocery store (who does that? I'm in a hurry, lady!) or someone is late to meet me, or my step daughter is being a brat or....
12 keeps me right-sized and again focused out of me, onto others.
4 (resentments and inventory of harms) is something I just revisited this past week as I was struggling with new ones I needed to admit (and now need to do 5 and 9 about).
And to your "non-God" description- I often think that the bottom line is just that there has to be something bigger than me. I have a God of my understanding - and I often think of my friend with 36 yrs as of two weeks ago. He's hilarious- and one thing he always says is that "back in the day when he got sober" everyone told him he'd be drunk again ASAP if he didn't believe in God. He says he never has - but this is a man who lives by love and service to others to an extent I have rarely encountered. He definitely believes there's a lot bigger than him
Thanks for prompting some thoughts for me this morning!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 43
I pulled the steps from the AA site so you might want to double-check your step order. If prayer works for you (step 11) then great! For me it's just talking to myself. We each have a different journey.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
In order to make the steps personally meaningful, I rewrote the steps for myself for the same reasons you did. Concepts can't be internalized if they are personally meaningless. By "internalized" I mean to make something a part of you, where it can be felt, lived, and be readily available. It's the opposite of memorization and parroting. Actually, it means learning, but "learning" often includes much that is trivial.
By rewriting steps for oneself, they not only become more meaningful, but more readily available as useful tools. Although we come from similar places on the spiritual scale (there is no such scale of which I'm aware, but I think it would be fun to invent one
), there are wide differences in how we have rewritten the steps. This is to be expected. For spiritual people as well as for secularists, perceptions of meaning vary widely from person to person. So I won't even suggest that one is better than another. All that is necessary is that they be personally meaningful and of value, and that is the actual bottom line. This would be true for believers, as well as those who might insist that there is no god, or those who simply don't have such a belief.
On another note, I applaud your effort in finding ways to utilize as much of the program as you can. There are tidbits scattered about that range from somewhat helpful to strongly so, and if you are there for the fellowship, anyway, it makes sense to see what else you might use or discard as you see fit. In a less formal means of expression, "Give it a shot," so to speak. But don't shy away from being creative when it's called for.
By rewriting steps for oneself, they not only become more meaningful, but more readily available as useful tools. Although we come from similar places on the spiritual scale (there is no such scale of which I'm aware, but I think it would be fun to invent one
), there are wide differences in how we have rewritten the steps. This is to be expected. For spiritual people as well as for secularists, perceptions of meaning vary widely from person to person. So I won't even suggest that one is better than another. All that is necessary is that they be personally meaningful and of value, and that is the actual bottom line. This would be true for believers, as well as those who might insist that there is no god, or those who simply don't have such a belief.On another note, I applaud your effort in finding ways to utilize as much of the program as you can. There are tidbits scattered about that range from somewhat helpful to strongly so, and if you are there for the fellowship, anyway, it makes sense to see what else you might use or discard as you see fit. In a less formal means of expression, "Give it a shot," so to speak. But don't shy away from being creative when it's called for.
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by tekink 
That's like telling someone their religion is wrong.
In the meetings I've attended and the speakers I've heard it's really unbelievable how many people start off in AA believing, sure as the sky is blue, that there is no God. Those same people finally got desperate enough to work with a sponsor and completed the steps, exactly as they are laid out in the Big Book, and by the end had and awakening and discovered the God of their understanding. Their lives were forever changed. It's an amazing thing to see.
It all starts with an open mind and the willingness to follow the advice of another Alcoholic and trust a program that has helped millions of people for decades attain the same goal that you want to attain.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
theres a secular 12 step sub forum here you may be interested in,EANx. you might be able to learn how to incorporate the rest of the steps into your life,too.
as for this:
"Who is that doc to say what's best for me?"
first off, he didnt say whats best for you. however, you said pride and ego are gettin in the way. so many- just maybe- what he had to say is best for you,too.
second, doc silkworth was talking about an alcoholic at a certain point. not every alcoholic got to the point he is talking about.
third, doc silkworth worked with and/or talked to over 40,000( thats forty thousand) alcoholics in his lifetime. personally i have never heard of one single person that has had that much contact with alcoholics. i think he prolly knows a thing or 5 about alcoholism and how it can be treated.
as for this:
"Who is that doc to say what's best for me?"
first off, he didnt say whats best for you. however, you said pride and ego are gettin in the way. so many- just maybe- what he had to say is best for you,too.
second, doc silkworth was talking about an alcoholic at a certain point. not every alcoholic got to the point he is talking about.
third, doc silkworth worked with and/or talked to over 40,000( thats forty thousand) alcoholics in his lifetime. personally i have never heard of one single person that has had that much contact with alcoholics. i think he prolly knows a thing or 5 about alcoholism and how it can be treated.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 43
Maybe I "mis-spoke", I was referring to when previously I would think "who is that doc to say what is best for me" and it was tongue in cheek, he's a doc.
Yep, secular 12 is more my style. Wonder if there's anything around here. Thanks.
Yep, secular 12 is more my style. Wonder if there's anything around here. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by EANx
Yep, secular 12 is more my style. Wonder if there's anything around here. Thanks.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I think of myself as secular because I don't practice any particular religion, nor am I required to. But a fundamental requirement (for success) in the AA program is a willingness to believe in something greater than myself in terms that make sense to me. That made it pretty open and roomy even for a non-believer, as I was, which is handy as in reality all Alcoholics Anonymous is is a spiritual prgram of action. If I had closed my mind to all spiritual concepts, there is nothing I could see about the program that would have got me sober.
Step 5, the one that scared me the most and I would have skipped if I could, is one you don't like either. So we have something in common there. But there are a range of promises in the big book, both positive and negative that changed my mind. They say the best reason for taking step 5 is that we may not overcome drinking if we don't. That was enough for me.
In a practical sense the bit I was afraid of wasn't talking to God, I mean if He existed, He already knew all my secrets. No it was revealing all my wrongs in stark detail to another human being, and at the same time having to look at the whole sorry picture, something I had been avoiding all my life. You might have heard the non-AA saying, you are as sick as your secrets?. That was the problem for me. No way could I carry that baggage, it was a dead cert to lead me back to drinking.
Take what you like and leave the rest? Well that is not AA advice. The program states that "Half measures availed us nothing".
I started the program with no belief but I had a bit of willingness. I took the steps in order and they brought certain experiences which changed my outlook and beliefs. In fact they changed to such an extent that I have no need of alcohol whatsoever.
Another thought that comes to mind is that one may consider the steps on the wall as a summary of the program. On their own they are not easily understood because two vital pieces of information are missing. The first is why should we take those steps? That can be found by honestly comparing your experience with that contained in the Big Book, particularly the Doctors Opinion and More About Alcoholism.
Once one has the why,one needs the how. Again found in the Big Book, the critical actions for recovery are found in just 21 pages, from 63 to 84, and the recipe for making it permanent is contained in the parts referring to steps 10, 11 and 12. A sponsor who has taken the steps is also helpful in terms of the how.
Step 5, the one that scared me the most and I would have skipped if I could, is one you don't like either. So we have something in common there. But there are a range of promises in the big book, both positive and negative that changed my mind. They say the best reason for taking step 5 is that we may not overcome drinking if we don't. That was enough for me.
In a practical sense the bit I was afraid of wasn't talking to God, I mean if He existed, He already knew all my secrets. No it was revealing all my wrongs in stark detail to another human being, and at the same time having to look at the whole sorry picture, something I had been avoiding all my life. You might have heard the non-AA saying, you are as sick as your secrets?. That was the problem for me. No way could I carry that baggage, it was a dead cert to lead me back to drinking.
Take what you like and leave the rest? Well that is not AA advice. The program states that "Half measures availed us nothing".
I started the program with no belief but I had a bit of willingness. I took the steps in order and they brought certain experiences which changed my outlook and beliefs. In fact they changed to such an extent that I have no need of alcohol whatsoever.
Another thought that comes to mind is that one may consider the steps on the wall as a summary of the program. On their own they are not easily understood because two vital pieces of information are missing. The first is why should we take those steps? That can be found by honestly comparing your experience with that contained in the Big Book, particularly the Doctors Opinion and More About Alcoholism.
Once one has the why,one needs the how. Again found in the Big Book, the critical actions for recovery are found in just 21 pages, from 63 to 84, and the recipe for making it permanent is contained in the parts referring to steps 10, 11 and 12. A sponsor who has taken the steps is also helpful in terms of the how.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
A lot of people just use Group Of Drunks (AA itself) as their GOD acronym for their higher power. The step 2 portion of the 12x12 says this is cool as a stepping stone until their faith broadens naturally to something else.
You can, if you wish, make A.A. itself your ‘higher
power.’ Here’s a very large group of people who have solved
their alcohol problem. In this respect they are certainly a
power greater than you, who have not even come close to a
solution. Surely you can have faith in them. Even this mini-
mum of faith will be enough. You will find many members who have crossed the threshold just this way. All of them
will tell you that, once across, their faith broadened and
deepened. Relieved of the alcohol obsession, their lives un-
accountably transformed, they came to believe in a Higher
Power, and most of them began to talk of God.”
You can, if you wish, make A.A. itself your ‘higher
power.’ Here’s a very large group of people who have solved
their alcohol problem. In this respect they are certainly a
power greater than you, who have not even come close to a
solution. Surely you can have faith in them. Even this mini-
mum of faith will be enough. You will find many members who have crossed the threshold just this way. All of them
will tell you that, once across, their faith broadened and
deepened. Relieved of the alcohol obsession, their lives un-
accountably transformed, they came to believe in a Higher
Power, and most of them began to talk of God.”
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,404
Whatever works; if you’re sober and content then it’s working. For me honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are the essentials of recovery. The journey ever evolves and views on GOD, higher power, spirituality, are ever developing and shifting so that steps that previously didn’t totally resonate suddenly click and become important. This is my experience.
Remember the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Better to stay sober working what works than pushed out to drink again. Everybody is different however there are many alcoholics who have to do it the sponsor guided 12 step route. This is my experience.
Ultimately being sober, sane, rational and living in a “spiritual” way I.e- treating others with tolerance, respect, compassion is a guide to how recovered one is becoming in my experience.
Remember the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Better to stay sober working what works than pushed out to drink again. Everybody is different however there are many alcoholics who have to do it the sponsor guided 12 step route. This is my experience.
Ultimately being sober, sane, rational and living in a “spiritual” way I.e- treating others with tolerance, respect, compassion is a guide to how recovered one is becoming in my experience.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by brighterday1234
Whatever works; if you’re sober and content then it’s working. For me honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are the essentials of recovery. The journey ever evolves and views on GOD, higher power, spirituality, are ever developing and shifting so that steps that previously didn’t totally resonate suddenly click and become important. This is my experience.
Remember the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Better to stay sober working what works than pushed out to drink again. Everybody is different however there are many alcoholics who have to do it the sponsor guided 12 step route. This is my experience.
Ultimately being sober, sane, rational and living in a “spiritual” way I.e- treating others with tolerance, respect, compassion is a guide to how recovered one is becoming in my experience.
Remember the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Better to stay sober working what works than pushed out to drink again. Everybody is different however there are many alcoholics who have to do it the sponsor guided 12 step route. This is my experience.
Ultimately being sober, sane, rational and living in a “spiritual” way I.e- treating others with tolerance, respect, compassion is a guide to how recovered one is becoming in my experience.
It works if you work it so work it cause you're worth it.
D♭7♭9♯9♯11♭13
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 336
Russell Brand wrote a book called Recovery, which is about the 12 steps and how he worked through them with an atheist. He reworded the 12 steps with colorful language and specifically removing any reference to God. I've included the first 6; if this resonates with anyone, go to his website under the recovery section and download the rest and consider listening to the audio book. I liked it and am not a 12-stepper nor have done AA.
<begin excerpt>
Here are the exercise questions again, without my answers so that you can think about your own.
Step 1: Are you a bit ******?
1 What do I want to change?
2 What pain or fear do I associate with change in this area?
3 What pleasure am I getting out of not changing?
4 What will it cost me if this doesn’t change?
5 What are the benefits I could gain by having this changed?
6 How has this problem placed my important relationships in jeopardy?
7 Have I lost respect/reputation due to this problem?
8 Has this problem made my home life unhappy?
9 Has this problem caused any type of illness?
10 Do I turn to the type of person that enables me to practise this behaviour or to companions who enable me?
11 What part of the problem do the people who care about me object to most?
12 What type of abuse has happened to me and others due to this problem?
13 What have I done in the past to try to fix, control or change this area of my life?
14 What are the feelings, emotions and conditions I have tried to alter or control with this problem?
15 Right now, if this is such an important area in my life, why haven’t I changed?
16 Am I willing to do whatever it takes to have this changed, healed or transformed?
Step 2: Could you not be ******?
1 Do I believe that I need to change?
2 Do I accept that change means I must think/feel/act differently?
3 Do I know people who have made comparable changes that seem quite radical?
4 Is this change likely to be easy and driven by the ideas I already have, techniques I already use and support systems that I already have access to?
5 What is my conception of a power greater than me? Is it nature? Is it consciousness beyond the individual? Is it the power of people coming together in the pursuit of a noble goal? Describe your
personal understanding of a power greater than yourself.
6 Do I have doubt and prejudice about spirituality and the power of a new perspective to solve my problem? What are those doubts and prejudices?
Mantra
‘Limitless consciousness, source of all light and love, please lay aside for me doubt and prejudice and give me willingness to believe that you can solve this problem, too, the way you have solved other problems.’
1 What is my conception of a personal Higher Power? Describe it here.
2 Can I now accept there is a power greater than me at work in this cosmos?
3 Do I know people who have changed their lives and live according to spiritual principles who are connected, happy and real?
4 Is this how I’d like to be?
5 Do I know people who have engaged with a new Power and used these techniques to induce revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking and have found a new peace and direction?
6 Is this what I want?
7 To reiterate, is this how my life is now? Or am I struggling with relationships? My emotions?
8 Do I lack purpose and drive?
9 Am I creating conflict and chaos?
10 Even beyond my primary addictive behaviour (drink/drugs/food/sex/spending/technology) are things hard?
11 Am I getting depressed?
12 Am I afraid?
13 Am I helping others?
14 In other areas of my life have I exhibited behaviours that if repurposed could serve me now? Like for example my belief that I can make myself feel better with drugs or sex or tech or the right relationship or job or some chocolate?
15 Have I kind of worshipped drugs or my phone or sex or shopping?
16 Can I see that this impulse applied to something less mundane, materialistic and shallow may motivate change?
17 In fact this problem I have could be seen as the misdirection of a positive impulse if I look at it differently, couldn’t it?
18 Can I connect to this love within me that I sometimes misdirect?
19 Can I connect to the love outside of me that I see in others?
20 Can I connect to this Power that I see elsewhere in my life?
Mantra (put this into your own words)
‘Divine Power, Supreme Truth, love within and without, guide me to a new way of being. Help me to put aside all previous thoughts and prejudices that I may be open to a “New Way”. I ask the creative power deep within me to guide me towards the person I was always meant to be, to seek out relationships and experiences that will move me closer to this Truth.’
Step 3: Are you, on your own, going to ‘un****’ yourself?
1 Am I feeling unsatisfied, limited, empty or anxious in my relationships?
2 Do my feelings lead me to make (or not make) decisions, take
(or not take) actions, or say (or not say) things that I then regret?
3 Am I suffering from misery, depression, unhappiness, or low self-worth?
4 Am I suffering from anxiety, doubt or perfectionism? Am I projecting imaginary future scenarios then worrying about them?
5 Is it becoming clear to me that my plan is not working?
6 Is it clear that I need a new plan that is not sourced from my own head and drives if I am to find fulfilment?
7 This plan of mine is like a mind virus of self-obsession, can I surrender it? Am I open to a different plan? Am I open to being guided?
We are trapped in a way of ‘being’ that is not working. Here are some categories which will help us amend our perspective. We can usually identify the root of pain and spiritual discomfort within these areas.
1 Pride (what I think you think about me)
2 Self-esteem (what I think about myself)
3 Personal relations (the script I give others)
4 Sexual relations (as above, pertaining to sex)
5 Ambitions (what I want in life, my overall vision of my ‘perfect’ self)
6 Security (what I need to survive)
7 Finances (money and how it affects my feelings)
It is good to be reminded of these categories as we undertake Step 4.
Step 4: Write down all the things that are ******* you up or have ever ****** you up and don’t lie, or leave anything out. Use the table on the next page.
Step 5: Honestly tell someone trustworthy about how ****** you are.
Before beginning this step, ask yourself:
1 Have I been entirely honest in this inventory?
2 Have I been clear about the motives beneath my behaviour?
3 Have I reached into my innermost self and asked for truth to
be revealed?
4 Am I open to a new truth?
5 Am I willing to take full responsibility for my feelings, perceptions and my behaviour?
6 Am I willing to fully disclose the most intimate and previously concealed nature of myself to another person? The person we choose should themselves have undertaken this process and have no investment in our life other than a desire to help us.
Ask yourself:
1 Why am I doing Step 5?
2 Why am I doing it with the person that I have chosen?
3 What is the function of Step 5?
Step 6: Well that’s revealed a lot of ****** up patterns. Do you want to stop it? Seriously?
With each defect we identify, ask:
1 Why do I do this? How does it help me? (What do I want, or want to avoid?)
2 If I do not change, what will happen?
3 If I am willing to change, how could my life improve?
4 Do I want this defect removed? Am I ready to let go?
5 If the answer is ‘no’, ask yourself: how is my life unmanageable
due to my powerlessness to change this attitude/thought/behaviour pattern?
Ask yourself:
1 Am I willing to let go of my egocentric, self-centred world view?
2 Am I willing to tear up my plan?
3 Am I willing to stop blaming others? To let go of resentment?
4 Am I willing to use this program as the new plan for my life?
5 Am I willing to accept that there are more powerful forces than me in the universe and that in this context my motives and notions are ridiculous?
<begin excerpt>
Here are the exercise questions again, without my answers so that you can think about your own.
Step 1: Are you a bit ******?
1 What do I want to change?
2 What pain or fear do I associate with change in this area?
3 What pleasure am I getting out of not changing?
4 What will it cost me if this doesn’t change?
5 What are the benefits I could gain by having this changed?
6 How has this problem placed my important relationships in jeopardy?
7 Have I lost respect/reputation due to this problem?
8 Has this problem made my home life unhappy?
9 Has this problem caused any type of illness?
10 Do I turn to the type of person that enables me to practise this behaviour or to companions who enable me?
11 What part of the problem do the people who care about me object to most?
12 What type of abuse has happened to me and others due to this problem?
13 What have I done in the past to try to fix, control or change this area of my life?
14 What are the feelings, emotions and conditions I have tried to alter or control with this problem?
15 Right now, if this is such an important area in my life, why haven’t I changed?
16 Am I willing to do whatever it takes to have this changed, healed or transformed?
Step 2: Could you not be ******?
1 Do I believe that I need to change?
2 Do I accept that change means I must think/feel/act differently?
3 Do I know people who have made comparable changes that seem quite radical?
4 Is this change likely to be easy and driven by the ideas I already have, techniques I already use and support systems that I already have access to?
5 What is my conception of a power greater than me? Is it nature? Is it consciousness beyond the individual? Is it the power of people coming together in the pursuit of a noble goal? Describe your
personal understanding of a power greater than yourself.
6 Do I have doubt and prejudice about spirituality and the power of a new perspective to solve my problem? What are those doubts and prejudices?
Mantra
‘Limitless consciousness, source of all light and love, please lay aside for me doubt and prejudice and give me willingness to believe that you can solve this problem, too, the way you have solved other problems.’
1 What is my conception of a personal Higher Power? Describe it here.
2 Can I now accept there is a power greater than me at work in this cosmos?
3 Do I know people who have changed their lives and live according to spiritual principles who are connected, happy and real?
4 Is this how I’d like to be?
5 Do I know people who have engaged with a new Power and used these techniques to induce revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking and have found a new peace and direction?
6 Is this what I want?
7 To reiterate, is this how my life is now? Or am I struggling with relationships? My emotions?
8 Do I lack purpose and drive?
9 Am I creating conflict and chaos?
10 Even beyond my primary addictive behaviour (drink/drugs/food/sex/spending/technology) are things hard?
11 Am I getting depressed?
12 Am I afraid?
13 Am I helping others?
14 In other areas of my life have I exhibited behaviours that if repurposed could serve me now? Like for example my belief that I can make myself feel better with drugs or sex or tech or the right relationship or job or some chocolate?
15 Have I kind of worshipped drugs or my phone or sex or shopping?
16 Can I see that this impulse applied to something less mundane, materialistic and shallow may motivate change?
17 In fact this problem I have could be seen as the misdirection of a positive impulse if I look at it differently, couldn’t it?
18 Can I connect to this love within me that I sometimes misdirect?
19 Can I connect to the love outside of me that I see in others?
20 Can I connect to this Power that I see elsewhere in my life?
Mantra (put this into your own words)
‘Divine Power, Supreme Truth, love within and without, guide me to a new way of being. Help me to put aside all previous thoughts and prejudices that I may be open to a “New Way”. I ask the creative power deep within me to guide me towards the person I was always meant to be, to seek out relationships and experiences that will move me closer to this Truth.’
Step 3: Are you, on your own, going to ‘un****’ yourself?
1 Am I feeling unsatisfied, limited, empty or anxious in my relationships?
2 Do my feelings lead me to make (or not make) decisions, take
(or not take) actions, or say (or not say) things that I then regret?
3 Am I suffering from misery, depression, unhappiness, or low self-worth?
4 Am I suffering from anxiety, doubt or perfectionism? Am I projecting imaginary future scenarios then worrying about them?
5 Is it becoming clear to me that my plan is not working?
6 Is it clear that I need a new plan that is not sourced from my own head and drives if I am to find fulfilment?
7 This plan of mine is like a mind virus of self-obsession, can I surrender it? Am I open to a different plan? Am I open to being guided?
We are trapped in a way of ‘being’ that is not working. Here are some categories which will help us amend our perspective. We can usually identify the root of pain and spiritual discomfort within these areas.
1 Pride (what I think you think about me)
2 Self-esteem (what I think about myself)
3 Personal relations (the script I give others)
4 Sexual relations (as above, pertaining to sex)
5 Ambitions (what I want in life, my overall vision of my ‘perfect’ self)
6 Security (what I need to survive)
7 Finances (money and how it affects my feelings)
It is good to be reminded of these categories as we undertake Step 4.
Step 4: Write down all the things that are ******* you up or have ever ****** you up and don’t lie, or leave anything out. Use the table on the next page.
Step 5: Honestly tell someone trustworthy about how ****** you are.
Before beginning this step, ask yourself:
1 Have I been entirely honest in this inventory?
2 Have I been clear about the motives beneath my behaviour?
3 Have I reached into my innermost self and asked for truth to
be revealed?
4 Am I open to a new truth?
5 Am I willing to take full responsibility for my feelings, perceptions and my behaviour?
6 Am I willing to fully disclose the most intimate and previously concealed nature of myself to another person? The person we choose should themselves have undertaken this process and have no investment in our life other than a desire to help us.
Ask yourself:
1 Why am I doing Step 5?
2 Why am I doing it with the person that I have chosen?
3 What is the function of Step 5?
Step 6: Well that’s revealed a lot of ****** up patterns. Do you want to stop it? Seriously?
With each defect we identify, ask:
1 Why do I do this? How does it help me? (What do I want, or want to avoid?)
2 If I do not change, what will happen?
3 If I am willing to change, how could my life improve?
4 Do I want this defect removed? Am I ready to let go?
5 If the answer is ‘no’, ask yourself: how is my life unmanageable
due to my powerlessness to change this attitude/thought/behaviour pattern?
Ask yourself:
1 Am I willing to let go of my egocentric, self-centred world view?
2 Am I willing to tear up my plan?
3 Am I willing to stop blaming others? To let go of resentment?
4 Am I willing to use this program as the new plan for my life?
5 Am I willing to accept that there are more powerful forces than me in the universe and that in this context my motives and notions are ridiculous?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
You won't be the only one buddy. Some people take simple axioms and abide by them. Happy days to them. Others need to have something in which they can 'thin out ' there own perceptions on matters. So for instance, someone thinks life is complex and someone for AA says, just keep it simple, don't overthink, that fits into their own understanding. They believe anyone can do that which I find impossible. The more simplifications you give some of us, the more question and doubt we will have. It is that balance between what is available to us for help and what we can do for ourselves. I could say to you all you need to do is look at this stone. And you'd say yeah I did but.... And I'd say you haven't looked at it long enough and you say, but it is causing me boredom and frustration and I'd say, just keep doing it, it will get better soon. And then you'd say I really feel like I'm struggling, and I say, well don't we all. Everyone who looks at the stone does but it works. That is AA.
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
Originally Posted by EANx
Yep, secular 12 is more my style. Wonder if there's anything around here. Thanks.
A Collection of Alternative Steps
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