You are not a fool, glenjo. We all have to come to these realizations in our own time. While everyone here was telling you what you have finally come to accept, you just weren't ready yet. Many of us were guilty of thinking our situation was different...that others just didn't understand, and that our situation would turn out differently.
I am sorry you feel so hurt, but you will get better with time and most importantly, having no contact whatsoever with either him or his cousin. It's a new year...make it a year of taking the very best care of yourself!