Isn't it amazing how hurt and loneliness flip to anger and resentment without taking a minute for laughter? You deserve to smile. You listed several things that you can't do - maybe take a bit of time to write down things that you can do? Then take some baby steps towards your goals? A fresh start for a new year feels good :-) Congrats for your recent weight loss! Lots of people could use more encouragement to get going on something you've already started!