trailmix

Hi Dreaming. The fact is you can't. You did rely on him to be responsible with them around and he has proven that's not a priority over drinking.

What did he have to say about it?

For the time being the hotel idea with a trusted baby sitter at your home is a great idea. He needs to be clear that while you are out of town he cannot, for any reason, visit the house.

I read your other thread from two years ago where your Husband admitted to an ER nurse that he has been drunk and alone with the kids and that is how CPS got involved. I know when you are sitting there in your kitchen having coffee with him now and preparing for your work day and everything is "normal", thinking that you have to take such a drastic measure seems - kind of ridiculous? It's not, you are thinking about this correctly in my opinion. The consequences of you leaving them with him again could be horrendous. Even if the children are unhurt, let's say he injures himself and ends up in the ER again (or even goes in to serious withdrawal) the fact that you have ever had an open CPS file will work so badly against you I should think.

He is an alcoholic. That doesn't change after detox or rehab or even sober living, he will always be an alcoholic. Doesn't mean he ever needs to drink again if HE doesn't want to but that's not the case right now. If any of the above does happen they might take your children away from you. How devastating that would be. Apparently, for him, not devastating enough to not drink while you are away.

As for support, support their Mother! The rest will fall in to place. Have you sought out Al-Anon meetings at all? I think that would be a great place to look for support and for being able to meet others that will understand what you are going through.

Keep posting here, read around the forum and the stickies at the top, lots of useful information.