Relapse & kids
My husband was sober for 1.6 years, got a decent job, and has been doing really well. Our marriage has been great, he’s great with the kids- all’s well in our house- until about a week ago.... I took a work trip to India and left my 8 & 6 year old girls with my husband, with babysitter help, for a 10 day trip. He lasted 5 days before he started drinking. I suspect he drove them drunk once, but otherwise they were ok - thank God!- given that I had a babysitter scheduled for morning and afternoon help. He is in a 30 day inpatient program now & im really struggling with a question: how do I EVER trust him enough to leave him with our kids again, even when things are going well? I left him with them 2x in the 1.6 years for overnight work trips, which were fine. He’s a really good dad on a daily basis, and a good husband since he’s been sober, but the risk of another relapse is always there. I don’t know that I will ever feel safe leaving him with them now- even with 1,2,3 years of sobriety. I work from home but have to travel occasionally and I don’t know what to do with the kids now. Never traveling is not an option. Have him go to a hotel & hire a sitter to stay with the kids? There isn’t family around that could stay in my house with them. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about this IRL either. We’ve had the Dept of Children & Families involves once before and it was punitive to me and not at all helpful; I very much felt like if I said one wrong word my kids would be taken from me.