Healthyandsober - Helpful things have already been said, and I agree with them all. Please know that you are not pathetic or a failure. You're weakening yourself by drinking - and that makes it hard to face challenges or to come up with solutions. I did the same thing - kept myself in a fog, thinking I was helping myself cope. It's a lie. You will get free and then you can decide what to do about a job that's more suitable for you (as Anna mentioned). Life will be so much better without alcohol.