Hi Class,
Busy day yesterday, but got to go to the stables after work to spend time grooming and then had a riding lesson. Working on building up that bond and getting familiar with stable and horse management again! I was supposed to be attending my annual college Christmas get together, however all but one other person and I dropped out/cancelled - so it will just be myself and my friend meeting for a catch up now, which will still be nice, but less of a group get together! In other news, we will be attending a wedding on NYE this year and it's black tie (which is so NOT my usual style! haha) so I had nothing to wear, but also didn't really want to break the bank for a once off occasion. I went online and took a chance on a really cheap, floor length dress (30 dollars) and it arrived yesterday and I'm delighted that the gamble paid off! The fabric quality is naturally not the most luxurious, but it's not exactly awful either and the fit and style is perfect and it's black, so no one will really notice the quality one way or another. For 30 bucks, I'm pretty pleased!
@PS: I haven't really thought about what to do (if anything) to mark my one year milestone. I guess I've been so focused on just managing everything up to and through Christmas, January seems so distant right now - but of course it's not at all! I guess I'll probably take a few hours to go riding - this is something I could never have committed to if I were still drinking, and it brings me so much joy. It still makes me sad thinking of the wasted years spent partying, thinking I was so great keeping it all together when really I was totally floundering.
@NL: The extract you posted kind of hit me in the gut. I recognised so much of my old self in that monologue. The drunk party girl thinking I was so unique, so 'brilliant', so funny, so witty, so interesting - so different from all the boring, normal people. When in reality, I was using alcohol to desperately mask my insecurities and sinking deeper into a world of pain borne of the growing chasm of dissonance between the person I became when drinking, of who I was pretending to be and slowly becoming, and the person, the good person, I really hoped to be underneath it all. I hope you're keeping your head up through the funk and feeling better. Please don't ever apologise for coming to post here when you're in a negative headspace. Those are the times we need to support each other the most, and I know I've been so grateful to you all for encouraging me through similar spells. We gotchu!
@Sunflower: Lovely to hear you are soaking up the festive spirit. Did you manage to get your husband's present in the end?
Thinking of our more silent comrades also - please pop by even just for a drive by if you can!