I’m sorry for rambling but I want to say one thing more.
In AA they tell you you will be a “recovering alcoholic” basically forever. In my opinion that is depressing. Like somebody trying to get better and putting a road block in front.

it wasn’t until I went to a CA meeting (cocane anamous).
It was in that meeting they declared you can be fixed. Not like a label for the rest of your life. It gave hope where there wasn’t otherwise.
Simple. Don’t take drugs and you are fixed.

That changed everything for myself. The thought that you are actually fixed at this moment.