how to do this?
Al-anon and Nar-anon are really good places to start. (((hugs)))
http://www.al-anon.org/ https://www.nar-anon.org/
The Nar-Anon Family Groups is primarily for those who know or have known a feeling of desperation concerning the addiction problem of someone very near to you. We have traveled that unhappy road too, and found the answer with serenity and peace of mind.
Higher Power hears our prayers. The strong role models you're seeking will show up.
Prayer: God/Great Spirit, please give me eyes to see, ears to hear and strength to embrace the illogical.
Thank you, God, for this day.