I work the Al-anon program but what also really helped me was joining a local gym. The one that appealed to me was ladies only with lots of holistic classes.
I started doing Yoga, Pilates, Stretch classes as well as the more aerobic leaping about type classes!
At first I struggled to learn the moves and hear what the instructor said because my head so jammed packed full of the swirling rubbish. Over the weeks, I noticed I was able to hear the instructor more and more.
Now I hear her clearly and love love love the classes. I have also met lots of upbeat ladies. I go for coffee with them, we laugh, have fun.
It has driven out the rubbish that was stuck inside me. Things I obsessed on (which were not my responsibility at all, btw) I no longer give a hoot for!
I joined the gym in June. As well as my body changing shape, my mind has too!
Sending best wishes to you, I very much relate to what you share.