In my experience it is far more helpful to work on myself and my Al-anon program of my recovery to move me forward.
Obsessing about my AH was very unhealthy for me.
I am a Double Winner (an alcoholic myself and married to one), I think back when I was drinking I would have denied it all. Shut it all out. Probably by being nasty. I did not want to hear the truth then. I would have protected my bubble of denial that I needed to use to keep drinking.