Originally Posted by
froscow 
thanks for all your input everyone.
i'm going to give it a miss. far easier than figuring out escape routes and planning out the night. i feel a hell of a lot better already haha.
Excellent choice. Escape routes are only necessary in "have to be there" situations. And if some one missed you at the party, you can always fess up and tell them, you just started with the sobriety thing, and didn't feel secure enough yet to be around that much alcohol. I've found that a lot of people accept this, and even offer encouragement and understanding. There are always those out there, who will ask why you don't just control your drinking and be there. It's not their fault that they don't understand. I've found it easy to just brush off such responses.
You can also engage them and tell them that no, you can't control your drinking, and that you really want to give sobriety thing a chance. You are under no obligation to do this, but most people understand, I think. If no one understands, it's a red flag, and outright avoidance is obviously the best way to go.