Okay well still not super awake but much better than last night. It’s just now 6 a.m. here and I’ve been up for a bit. Helps when you go to sleep at 9:30. Anyhoo, as I was saying...
Palmer, when I read that line (lazier/less to prove) it was like it came from my own brain. So true. It was posting here where I really kind of crystallized my realization that some of the things I assumed I wasn’t doing because I was a terrible lush are really just things that I don’t feel like doing. Without feeling so much like i have to prove THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY LIFE EVERYTHING’S AWESOME AND OF COURSE I DON’T DRINK IN A WAY THAT INTERFERES, I just don’t do certain things I may have forced myself to do when drinking, or beaten myself up for not doing when drinking. Hope the house decision making was effective and brought you closer to a return to normalcy.
Sunflower, really hope date night went well and you can rekindle some of the less roomate-y side of your relationship.
NC, I feel ya on the looming storm of the week to come though I am hopeful in my case it’s just an ordinary week. It sounds like you’ve got kind of a perfect storm of different forces converging at once. I hope the weekend helps you get locked and loaded! I’m sorry about the crap day. That sounds really annoying. Glad you had a good lesson anyway.
I have definitely been feeling twinges of AV, though I think this is really more about my unrealistic expectations that those would go away by now than anything. In other words, I’m only noticing it like it’s a thing because I think i should be over that stuff by now and I’m not. We were out for pizza after the soccer game on Thursday and as you go through the line you pass by a case of drinks. They had a giant can of Chardonnay—wine in a can y’all! Crazy. Then a half bottle of white wine of some kind. For whatever reason that display just really called out to me. Then last night, my daughter went on a sleepover, the weather is beautiful, I had made it through this week, and my son and I were hanging out. I’m glad I don’t drink because in theory at least i can be more present (didn’t really succeed in this because i didn’t want to watch the darn movie and i couldn’t stay awake)...but man did I miss the days of capping off the week being duly buzzed yet anesthetized.
Of course I’m glad I didn’t follow any of the tempting roads but just odd that it called out to me so strongly.
I am nearing the end of Recovery 2.0 and will need a new book. It’s starting to really get on my nerves. It’s just such a privileged, sheltered approach (like if you can’t afford organic vegetables just don’t buy other things....very practical) and you really need immersive meditation retreats. Um, yeah. Not in the cards. I guess some of this is just cloaked resentment for the things in my own life that interfere with taking better care of myself but I do also think it’s justified annoyance with some of the less practical ideas.
Okay enough ranting. Time to find a workout video! Have a wonderful day everyone!