Originally Posted by
pdm22 
He could have at least offered you a muffin with the diet coke, jeez. :/
Seriously, though, he sounds like he does use his looks and charm to get by. And if anyone catches on to him, or gives him feedback about himself or his behavior, he's probably savvy enough to know just what to say to get into someone's head, and or how to act to keep the whole push-pull dynamics going.
So the person on the receiving end feels off center and like maybe it's them, and feeling like crap, or not sure where they stand because the messages are so mixed. In short, he's a mess, and has to use smoke and mirrors to try to make people feel insecure, so they are spinning on that, and not looking at him too closely and seeing him for who he really is. I think once you see that game and how it works, its hard to unsee it. From what you said, it sounds like he has some awareness of this already, and is dodging around from person to person when he sees people are on to him?
Hit the nail on the head. He is extremely charming and is one of those people who lights up a room when he walks in. So he uses this and his good looks to get by. His first rehab in June he had a "fling" with a counsellor who lost her job. Everywhere he goes he has people eating out of his hands. However I know from experience that can't last, looks eventually go, don't they lol?
Yes he's quite aware of what he's doing and is quite manipulative. He uses put downs to try make people more insecure. A few times lately he tried some with me, and I'd read somewhere to call him on them (before I'd laugh or agree). I said, hey that sounds like a put down and he was taken aback! He actually said in his last text today he can't be dealing with my insecurities and sulking lol so your right about the smoke and mirrors to make people insecure. He should be studied.