So met him today. Was looking well and had a good chat. He apologized for what happened in the summer and informed me about what's been happening in his life, how and why he did what he did. He's been through a lot, 4 rehabs, on the streets and living with a cocaine addict and a suicide attempt. Says he is very happy to be back and attending meetings again. Says he has handed over his bank cards to his cousin and she has control over all his stuff as he doesn't trust himself. She is buying him alcohol daily he said but he hopes to stop very soon. She has total control over his life now, not over me however, I explained I would not be reporting any drinking back to her which he said he really respected.
He seems a bit different, a bit more real, said he is not people pleasing anymore and wants to be honest. Whilst talking with him, he took phonecall from a new best friend who was a mate from rehab, said they were through a lot together(he rescued him off the streets after relapse).
I feel a bit of relief, like I got answers to some issues I was stuck on about this summer. It's a gift really as it should help me move past it. He said he would like to keep on touch and be in each other's lives. I told him I'm unsure and need time to adjust to everything. He said his cousin and he are going to get a dog for their place as he will be at home a lot. Another way to keep him there in my opinion. He said she is delighted to have him there, and is doing everything, paying for food, alcohol, and she will be controlling his drinking......I explained how much work I've done on codependency and that I wouldn't be playing any part in fixing, rescuing or reporting if I did choose to be involved. My feeling is that although we could be in each other's lives again, it's so different as he is totally under the thumb of his cousin. She rings him every day at 1 pm to check in with him, texts throughout the day and then brings him home wine in the evening after work. Its like their a couple and it weirds me out. Whole thing is baffling and I suppose I realise even a friendship with him now would be very restricted.
So that's where I am. Further on, some questions answered and resolved thankfully, unsure of the future.