She is a controller so feels she needs to control his whole life. I know this will sound weird, but I think he is almost like a replacement partner for her. He told me before, she's lonely and insecure and would do anything to have him stay there!
This doesn’t surprise me at all.
She said if I didn't I was keeping his drinking secret, as he was less likely to lie to her if we were in contact about the amount he is drinking. That he has a lot of issues and needs everyone around him to be on same page.
I’m sure you already see this, but it may help to hear someone else say it...this is a very thinly veiled attempt to manipulate you. So I think you’re right, she wants you as a partner and sounding board, but this is an ugly way to go about it.
I’m with Puzzle...seems like these two folks have their own agendas and neither one has your best interests at heart.
-bora