Oh the guilt! I know it all too well and never understood it. My XAH never went to rehab or stopped drinking..he is a functional alcoholic so he never thought he had a problem. After 10 years of it, I divorced him and felt and still feel guilty about it. I don’t know why and can’t explain it. Good luck on your journey. It has been six months since I left and still have good and bad days. Eventhough, I felt tortured in our marriage by emotional abuse and loneliness, it is tough but I am not looking back.