Side,
Sorry for your mom. Mine died a few years ago from cancer after 15 years of battling. I was drunk at her funeral.
All of the previous offerings are amazing and supportive.
Add to this the knowledge that what we drunks deal with is physical addiction and mental chemical imbalance.
The physical goes away after a few weeks or so. The mental takes years to recover to a level of...less terrible. But, it never, ever, ever goes away. Hence folks regretting relapse after decades of sobriety.
It deals with the lack lack of dopamine caused by the use of brain altering substances. The dopamine eventually normalizes, but as an addict for life, without education, feeling good is a reason to drink.
I had to suffer horrific times to get this clean. Most folks don't make it out. It is a journey we must endure, and enjoy, for the rest of ourmlives.
I wear my sobriety like a badge of honor. It is my way to keep this path.
Thanks.